Faith. Women. Empowerment.

“Do whatever brings you to life, then. Follow your own fascinations, obsessions, and compulsions. Trust them. Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart.” 

Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Big magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, Witten by Elizabeth Gilbert, is a book I read in the Spring of 2018 and to this day, it is a major part of the reason I have been able to step out of the boat creatively, so to speak. Liz writes about creating art, in all forms and not caring how the world feels about it, but instead, creating because of how you feel about it.

I am 31 years old and I’ve spent the majority of 16 years chasing what I thought would fulfill my purpose, I’ve intentionally placed myself into situations and organizations that I thought would fill the spaces I was desperately seeking to make whole on one condition, it had to pay the bills and give me X amount of income.

In May of 2018, I enlisted in the USAF, active duty. Fast forward three and a half years, I have a beautiful son who will be two years old in 9 days, a daughter that is due to enter this world in 12 days and a husband, best friend and soul mate who has made it possible for me to live the dream while our littles are little….stay at home full time with them.

Since my separation, about 60 days ago, I have learned a lot about myself and what I’ve found is this, there are a lot of parts that I don’t know anything about.

Being able to watch the imagination of my son and his intriguing ability to pick up on things so very quickly is a huge blessing, I am even more so looking forward to meeting our daughter in twelve short days, or less. Having the freedom to focus on their care 100% and to take care of the things at home that would not get done without someone here to ensure they did, is a luxury that I know some Mothers would do anything to have. All of that being said, it has hit me in fifty-something days, creating space for yourself to breathe, to be, to create, to be okay or not be okay, to sit in the peace or cry in moments of chaos, is absolutely required of someone who stays at home full time.

The ability to make the time to create, to let your passion overcome you and spill out into the things that someone out there is waiting on__ that, that is the space where faith comes alive, where being brave is the only option you have and that is the stuff that dreams are made of.

I wrote this down in the kitchen last night, in between throwing a casserole in the oven and switching over the laundry, and I whole heartedly believe it to be true.

There are people and places and projects out there that are waiting on you to show up. I also believe, if you have something to offer the world that could wreck it in an amazing way, the toxic forces of this life will do everything they can to keep you quiet, held back, in a position to believe you cannot create.

Because if your gift is never shared with the world, if those people aren’t helped or inspired well, the world can’t go on to plant more seeds and grow and create beautiful, whatever it is that you make, and that would make the negative forces happy. Yet, for the rest of the world if you never show up, things will die, books won’t be written, relationships never founded, magic will not be created and that, will be a tragedy.

One thing I have learned and will continue to unfold as I find myself in this new chapter of life is this, too much pressure is put on the title of "full time raising babies at home". 

What I mean is that, there has to be separation and time for yourself to create within all of the other things required of you. Your children need to see you creating, building spaces where faith arises and dreams come alive. The lie that you do not have the time or you should feel guilty for carving out that bit of space has for far too long been believed.

So here I am, because I too was sitting under that umbrella of shame, whilst the creative rains poured down on all sides of myself, I give you permission and invitation to lift the cover and dance around in this freedom that needs you to be good to yourself.

Create and don’t feel sorry for it.

You owe it to the ones waiting on you to show up, you owe it to your children who will one day wonder if they could or should be brave, to the work that is sitting just waiting to be built by you and you alone.

Being brave is not easy, believing the words you speak into existence does not happen instantaneously, building your dreams is hard work and deciding to live in a creative world beyond fear, is terrifying. It is also when and where your soul comes to life.

So make the time friend, don’t fear the unknown because of what the world says could happen, trust in the calling to create.

The world needs who you were made to be.

Joanna Gains