Faith. Women. Empowerment.

I realize, more often than not, life throws a curveball in the timelines we create for ourselves. Or maybe it’s God trying to tell us to get a grip that his plan is better. Either way, It doesn’t send us an email to make sure we’ve cleared our schedule for this wrench in the plan, it doesn’t discriminate on who gets the diversion. You simply get the news, react and adapt. Or you don’t. Either way, the new course sets in, regardless of how you take the view of the newly appointed direction on your life compass.

At least, that’s how I see it.

Maybe you’re well equipped to handle the swift motion of the waves of life and that’s awesome! However, at age 28, life still manages to leave me mouth wide open with the change of course at times.

I recently returned home from my training that followed my decision to enlist in the USAF. 1 year, 11 months later from that initial beginning of my journey and I had arrived back to my first duty station. More importantly, I had arrived back to be with the other half of my heart, my husband Nathan. I took in every day to follow with a deep breath and extreme gratitude, I was finally home. Home within the arms of the person who knew my every string down to the core of my soul. Without him I operate like a poorly tuned acoustic guitar. With him life feels like my favorite song on a piano, played with passion and precision.

So you can imagine the emotional alarms that went off when I got the news that duty calls and we were going to be separated for what I have now learned is an open ended status TDY. Here is my dilemma, My husband is my sheet music, but we both play for the same orchestra, the United States Air Force. This means that the day I raised my right hand to join in on the symphony of it all. I made a conscious decision to truly test our vows of,

“For better and for worse.”

…this was the for worse part. I made a consious decision to our mission, to the people we serve and protect, to put the USAF first, and our marriage second. I no longer have the luxury of putting my needs over what I know actually needs to come first. Nathan and I put our boots on the same way every morning, we vowed to put others before ourselves and yes, that includes one another. We understand the reality of this statement and have to “embrace the suck” of these moments when our mission comes first, because we both know that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves. 

I have not mastered the art of understanding by any means, but I am in a process and I’ve learned, you can never judge something when it’s in the middle of a process. 

So this is the point I was referring to, your adapt or abandonmoment.

Will you choose to adapt to the circumstances you are faced with?

Or will you abandon post and choose to not deal with the emotions of it all?

This is hard y’all, I cannot tell you what a challenge it has been for me. The intent of this blog was not to tell you how I’m strong and brave and I looked this diversion of my plans in the face and said “ I got this!” and haven’t waivered since day 1. We are in day 18, in case you were wondering, and I wish I could say that I have been that woman, wife, airman…but I am only human. Letting my best friend go immediately after I had gotten him back into my life after several months, was torture on my soul. It has taken me roughly 15 days to slap myself in the face and say “ get it together! “

I’ve never been the abandon type thus far and I don’t intend to start now.

As I drove home from base on coincidentally the first of November, I noticed the way the morning sun caressed the tops of the trees. Up until that very moment, I had been blissfully unaware of the colors fading from green to orange, to yellow, to red to brown…and it was breathtaking.

I wondered how the colors changing could have passed me by until now….and then I realized something. A lot of things had passed me by since the moment I let myself abandon post on my mission to be strong. Without even noticing it, I found it easier to abandon than to adapt. Then I thought of the trees, the leaves, the story each branch held. What causes each leaf to fade into the color that it becomes? What situations must  decide something so beautiful? Maybe that leaf didn’t want to be the burnt orange shade it has turned into, but without fail, it waves its sunfire color for the world to see.

Leaves don’t have the option to abandon, they adapt within their season of life.

Regardless of how they feel in the moment, they press on and deal with the colors of the present as they fade into the next shade.

[You need to be more like the leaves girl.]

If they don’t get a chance to abandon then neither should we. Fall comes around every year, well, depending on your geographical region. One thing is certain, fall may not be a season you have to endure within your area of the globe, but circumstances, diversions and curve balls of life will come, regardless of the state on your drivers license. You need to be ready.

A dear friend of mine reminded me of this, “ This is what you signed up for, TDY’s will come again, you need to be ready.” —KK.

I Thank God for bringing that woman into my life, because when I was looking for someone to coddle my notion to abandon this season of life, she told me, in not so many words, to buck up.   A D A P T.  Life isn’t going to wait for you to acquire the tools to build a roof on top your house to sustain the rain. The storms will come. If you’re not fully prepared, well, you had better invest in an umbrella and some rain boots.

What I’m saying is that it’s OK to not be OK at first, but my friends it is imperative that you assess the diversion of your plans and adapt.

Cry, be pissed off, make a pity playlist…

“I give you permission to be sad.”—KK.

but after you do that, you get up. You call yourself out, accept the fact that you have dealt with your pre-abandon emotions…and ADAPT.

I promise you, the version of yourself that you’ll become by learning to accept the shade of life that you’ve been given, is someone who will be ready for any storm that comes to invade their house.

Here’s to vowing to live a life like the trees in the fall. Fearlessly bending and fading into the seasons of life, with full awareness that there is true beauty in the effort and ability to adapt to the moments we are dealt.

This blog is dedicated to my dear friend Kathy Kempton, whose birthday is on Monday and whom I love dearly for her friendship and impact on my life.

Also to my best friend and the love of my life, even when you’re hundreds of miles away you wreck my heart and give me new perspective everyday. Thank you for the man you are and will continue to grow into and always be.

In everything, you have my heart and my support, always love.

(November 04 2018)

V/r,

Bobbysue Moog